They say that beginings are the hardest. But not in my case, because my begining took place in London, where everything seems to be easier for me. It was a start for all my interests, pereceptions and generally me. I was 14 and came to spend one month in London with my mom. I remember every single day of these holidays and I'm sure I will never forget it. I was in many other places all over the world, but none of them impressed me that much. It was not about the weather (cause most of the time we had an English 'shower'), not about the monuments, museums or exhibitions (nevertheless watching it all left me down on my knees), but it was about people. People and fashion. I came from a little town, where everyone used to wear t-shirt and jeans in thoose days and every attempt to wear something different was always derided. And suddenly - wow! - what a surprise. I realised that there is a place on earth, where people think the way I do - everyone looks extremely different, and maybe I'm not freak at all, when I don't have jeans and t-shirt on... I felt so free that the next day I put on every single print I had in my suitcase. My mom was a little like 'wtf did you do?' but I was feeling so cool, propably for the first time in my life (this is a special, weird, kind of feeling which I feel only in London, and nowhere else. It's like being high without doing any drugs). I remember this day so good for one more reason - I got my first job offer then. Some women in the Oxford Circus asked if she can take a picture of me, because I look great, and if I want to perform in Addidas commercial! Unfortunatley I couldn't, because it had to be fake party scenery and I wasn't 18. I hated myself for not having reached maturity for a little while, but then I made a promise - I will come to London once more, and then no one will tell me that I'm too young for something!
I fulfiled this promise. Again and again if I had enough money in my piggy bank, I was buying a plane ticket. For a short trips and for a long time once. And everytime life was getting the most intense flavour I had ever tasted. Not only the sweet one. There are millions of crazy stories, hundrets of disappointments, adventures, new people I met, and generally ups and downs. But there's something magical in London - every tear or drop of sweat you left here, makes you love this place even more.
I still don't know why I made my decision to come back. The one and only rational reason is the fear. I was scared that one day London would stop be an adventure for me and become common. Just like a relationships thing - you love your boyfriend and you guys don't even fall out, but it just feels that the fascination is over and you're getting tired of him. And I never want to feel tired of London. I want him to always treat me as good as at the begining. To still be my source of inspirations and my escape from reality. My love forever.
(14 years old me in O2 Arena - having a lip stud and drinking something in Starbucks - so 'cool')
